This question often arises amid wounds that have not yet healed. Forgiving is not easy, especially when we feel deeply hurt, betrayed, or wounded by someone we should have been able to trust. But what does God’s Word say about this?
Forgiveness Is a Command, Not Optional
Jesus clearly taught the importance of forgiveness. In Matthew 6:14-15, He said, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
This is a command, not a suggestion. God does not say, “Forgive if you feel ready,” but calls us to live in forgiveness as a lifestyle. Why? Because we ourselves have been forgiven so greatly by Him.
Forgiveness Does Not Mean Justifying
Many people refuse to forgive because they feel it is the same as justifying what the person did. But forgiveness does not mean you agree with or minimize the hurt. On the contrary, you acknowledge that there is indeed pain, but you choose not to continue living in the chains of bitterness.
In Romans 12:19, God says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” says the Lord. So when you forgive, you are handing over the hurt and justice to God, not letting the offender go free without consequence.
Forgiveness Heals Yourself First
One reason God commands us to forgive is because forgiveness brings release not only for the person we forgive but first for ourselves. Hatred and resentment imprison our souls. But when we forgive, we open the door for God’s peace to enter and heal our hearts.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger… be put away… But be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…”
Do I Also Have to Make Peace?
Forgiving does not always mean the relationship must return to how it was before. Sometimes, boundaries need to be set to protect oneself. But forgiveness can still be given, even if reconciliation is not possible. Forgiveness is about the heart, not about physical closeness or social relationship.
Closing: Forgive Because You Have Been Forgiven
If you find it hard to forgive, remember the cross. Jesus was crucified by those who persecuted Him, yet He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If Jesus could forgive in suffering, we are also empowered to forgive through His love working in us.
Forgiving is not about our strength, but about a heart surrendered to God. And when we do it, we partake in the true love and freedom He provides.
