There is a wound that feels deeper than physical wounds: wounds caused by betrayal, hurt, or abandonment by those closest to us. Whether it is a friend, partner, family member, or even a fellow believer. That wound is not only painful but also leaves a scar, making it difficult for us to trust again, and the hardest part: difficult to forgive.
But in the midst of that pain, God still calls us to forgive. Not because the person deserves forgiveness, but because we are called to live free, not bound by bitterness.
Forgiving Is Not Forgetting, But Letting Go
Many people think that forgiving means forgetting or pretending nothing happened. But that is not the case. Forgiving is not denying the wound, but choosing no longer to let that wound control our lives.
Jesus said, “Forgive seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). This means forgiveness is not about counting, but about a heart that continually learns to let go.
Jesus Knew the Feeling of Betrayal
Jesus Himself experienced the deepest wounds from those closest to Him. Judas betrayed Him with a kiss. Peter denied Him three times. His disciples fled when He was crucified. But what was His response? On the cross, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
If Jesus, who was innocent, could forgive those who hurt Him, aren’t we also called to do the same?
Why Does God Ask Us to Forgive?
- Because we ourselves have been forgiven. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another… just as the Lord has forgiven you.”
- Because bitterness poisons the soul. Hebrews 12:15 warns us to watch out that no bitter root grows, which can cause damage.
- Because forgiveness opens the way to restoration. Sometimes restoring a relationship doesn’t always mean going back to how it was, but at least we can live without resentment.
How to Forgive When Your Heart Is Still Hurt?
- Acknowledge that you are hurt. Do not reject your pain. Come to God honestly like the psalmist, “I cry out because of my broken heart” (Psalm 38:9).
- Pray for the person who hurt you. It may initially feel insincere, but praying will soften our hearts little by little. Matthew 5:44 says, “Pray for those who persecute you.”
- Let go of the right to retaliate. Romans 12:19 says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”
- Establish healthy boundaries. Forgiving does not mean allowing yourself to be hurt again. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart with all vigilance.”
Closing: Forgiveness Makes Us Free
Forgiving does not mean others win, but it means we refuse to be enslaved by that wound. We choose to live free in God’s grace. When we forgive, we are reflecting God’s own love.
Jesus does not ask us to do something He Himself did not do. When we choose to forgive, we are walking in His footsteps. And there, we will find true peace.
